The Microwave and the Spatula
by Confused Cookie
Summary: The Yu-gi-oh characters are objects that you may expect to find in a kitchen. But what will happen whan a beautiful spatula comes along?
1. 1 Walk in the Wood, Whereabouts Unknown

Hi! This is going to be a silly little fic. Not to be taken seriously. WARNING! Téa and Weevil fans should not read this fic because, um, yeah... If you do however continue to read, I warned you!  
  
Disclaimer: Nup, I don't own Yugi and all his little friends (and enemies!Mwahaha). I also don't own anything else from Yugioh that I have failed to mention.

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**Chapter 1. A Walk in the Wood, Which's Whereabouts Are Unimportant**.  
  
Once upon a time in the middle of a forest (which the whereabouts are unimportant) were a group of teenagers. Their names were Yugi, Téa, Bakura, Joey, Malik, Mai, Seto, Mokuba and Weevil, and our story commences...  
  
"Oh no! Where did Téa go?!" squealed Yugi obviously worried sick for his friend.  
  
"Do you think she could've gotten lost?" replied Joey.  
  
With that Yugi dropped to his knees in misery "Will we ever see her again Joey?" he sobbed. "Maybe she is stuck up a tree, or eaten by a man-eating insect, I've heard a few recent stories about moose attacks..."  
  
"An insect would never even try to devour your little friend Yugi. Leave the superior bugs out of this!" Weevil snapped.  
  
"Stop worrying, she'll be fine Yug-"  
  
"NO! You will never see her again!" a deep voice boomed. The voice wasn't evil but it didn't seem to be good either. "I have imprisoned her in the Shadow Realm for eternity!"  
  
In one sudden movement everyone's heads turned to face Malik. "What? I didn't do it!" said Malik in an honest tone." I'm a 'good guy' now, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, right." Came from a quiet Bakura who hadn't spoken in seventeen minutes. "And it wasn't me either!"  
  
"Well who was it?" asked Mai.  
  
"It was me." sobbed the little Yugi.  
  
"What?! Are you ok bud?" yelled Joey.  
  
"I-I didn't mean to, it was my Yami. I wonder what she did to him. I'll go ask him."  
  
_In the Millennium Puzzle (or wherever it is where he talks to Yami.)_  
  
"Yami?"  
  
"Yes, Yugi?" Yami asked.  
  
"Ummm, what did Téa ever do to you! Why did you sent her to the Shadow Realm. Surely she didn't do anything that bad. Did she?"  
  
"Yugi. Téa and I-well I-just got a bit fed up with her and, well..."  
  
"That is no excuse for what you have done Yami!"  
  
"Oh, I am truly sorry young one, I shall bring her back, I promise."  
  
"Thank you! I could hug you! But since you're a spirit I don't think it would work to well. I don't want to hug nothing, it would be silly."  
  
"Yes it would be quite silly." replied Yami with a chuckle.  
  
_Back in reality_  
  
"Yugi? Yugi? Is Téa going to be alright? Yugi?"  
  
"Huh? Oh Téa? She'll be fine. Now, let's go and find her."  
  
"Great, just when I thought we'd finally gotten rid of the little pest." mumbled Seto Kaiba.  
  
At his side a little voice said "Seto! That was mean! I don't like it when you say mean things about my friends! Say you're sorry! Right now!"  
  
"Hmph. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do, and if I said that I was sorry, it would just be lying. You wouldn't want me to lie to you, would you? Mokuba?" said Seto Kaiba.  
  
"Why can't you be a nice big brother, Seto?" said Mokuba almost in tears, before running off deep into the gloomy forest.  
  
"Mokuba, wait!" Seto called after him "You'll get lost!".  
  
Seto ran after his little brother, to find Mokuba frozen in his tracks. There was a rustling sound coming from a bush that Mokuba was staring at. "Seto? There's something in that bush. I'm scared big brother"

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Confused Cookie: Ok, I know it's really short and boring at the moment, but it will get better, and funnier soon. I promise! 


	2. 2 Attacked! By a Toy?

I'm ba-ack. Yay!-  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, or Golliwogs...  
  
Chapter 2: Attacked! By a Toy?  
  
=1st person: Kaiba=  
  
There was a rustling sound coming from a bush that Mokuba was staring at. "Seto? There's something in that bush. I'm scared big brother!"  
  
I sighed, "Mokuba there's nothing to be scared about, it's probably just a squirrel or something."  
  
"Mokuba! Kaiba! Where are you!" Yugi, his friends (and Weevil) yelled, before catching up to them to find themselves staring at the noisy bush. Which was now snickering.  
  
The snickering continued, and the optimistic Yugi cried out "There's someone in that bush!" When did you figure that out wise guy. "Téa might be in there!"  
  
Everyone sweat dropped. "Yug! Why would Téa be hiding in a bush and snickering at us?!" Joey said matter-of-factly.  
  
Hmm, now that's the smartest thing I've ever heard Wheeler say.  
  
"Well we won't know unless we take a look." Yugi said. But then, suddenly out of the bush came a dark ragdoll-like thing. It wore a red and black polka-dotted bow tie, yellow and purple splotchy pants, and its hair was as dark as its chocolate brown skin and looked like a lions mane.  
  
"Oh wow! A Golliwog!" came the excited cry of my little brother. A Golliwog, one of those silly toys? Here? Impossible! But I can't be going crazy. "Seto can we take him home, pleeeease!" There is no way in hell I am going to even touch that, thing.  
  
"Mokuba surely you don't need that, maybe I'll get you a nice, new one later."  
  
"Yay! Thanks big brother." Mokuba smiled.  
  
I smiled too, I always want to make Mokuba happy.  
  
Meanwhile the Golliwog was dancing around in circles singing a strange song in Golliwog language. Yugi and the rest were watching intently, fascinated by such a different specimen. After about four minutes and forty-two seconds of their gawping at the ridiculous dancing toy, Mai finally asked it about where Téa's whereabouts.  
  
In reply to this the Golliwog smiled, it was an evil smile, not quite a smirk. It wasn't too friendly all the same. I just realised why that mischievous little rat-bag was smiling, and doing that ridiculous Golliwog dance. It was an enchantment, a curse, and the next moment I felt strange. I looked around me and instead of seeing Mokuba, Yugi, and everyone else, they were replaced with household appliances, and the Golliwog was gone.  
  
I also had been turned into a kitchen appliance. I was now cursed to be a fridge for eternity. I wondered what that Golliwog had turned Mokuba into so I called out his name. Suprisingly I could actually speak as a fridge.  
  
Mokuba answered and his voice came from above me, he must be a freezer then. To my great relief Mokuba sounded unharmed. "Mokuba! are you aright?" "I'm fine big bro." To my great relief Mokuba sounded unharmed.  
  
Yugi, who was now a toaster, asked the same question I asked Mokuba to everyone else. They were all fine. I discovered that Wheeler was a blender, Mai a teapot, Bakura was a kettle, Malik was now a microwave and Weevil was turned into a pomegranate, which was strange because a pomegranate was not a kitchen appliance, but a fruit.  
  
"We have to fix this, I can't lose my fabulous figure for this thing!" Mai wailed like a small child.  
  
"Malik, Yugi, do you think our Millennium Items could be of any assistance?" Bakura asked, wanting to help.  
  
"Bakura, are we even carrying our Millennium Items? I'm a microwave! How is a microwave supposed to use or even carry the Millennium Rod?" Malik said, annoyed that he couldn't use his Millennium Item.  
  
"Well, I can feel the presence of the Millennium Puzzle, so I guess we have them somewhere." Yugi said. "But we can't use them until we actually know where they are."  
  
"Goodbye beauty." Mai said  
  
"Oh Mai, relax, we'll get out of this some way or another, and well, I think you're the most beautiful teapot I have ever seen." said a slightly pink kettle. (AKA Bakura)  
  
"Really? You mean it?"  
  
"Ahh! I must be losing my mind, there is no way this could be happening!" yelled the poor confused Joey at the top of his lungs.  
  
"Hmph, I didn't know you even had a mind, Wheeler. If you did, like you just said, you mustn't have ever used it." I commented. Someone had to tell that stupid baboon exactly how stupid he really is.  
  
Joey replied to my completely obvious observation with a string of insults. There was so many, and he said so many random things that I couldn't even remember what they were just after he said it. He just wasn't making any sense. "Wheeler sorry to disappoint you, but you don't seem to be speaking in English. I don't understand gibberish."  
  
"Why you! I'd watch my mouth if I were you! 'Cause when I'm through with you-"  
  
Idiot. "Ha! Yeah right, what are you going to do Wheeler? You seem to be forgetting that you are a blender, and I am a refrigerator. I am seven times your size!" That seemed to shut the stupid blender up.  
  
"Guys, I'm sorry to interrupt, but we need to find Téa!" Yugi pointed out. Then as if on que Téa appeared from a blackberry bush.  
  
"Ouch! Thorns I never listen to Yugi again! It's his fault that I'm lost and attacked be these thorns. Hey, what's that over there?" Téa said, eyeing the kitchenware in the middle of the forest.  
  
"Téa! Téa! Where over here! Help us!" screamed the helpless Yugi, Joey, and Bakura. Whereas the rest of us weren't stupid enough to believe Téa would actually be able to talk to toasters. We were right. She had no idea of the 'Curse of the Golliwog' or the fact that we were all turned into the things that lay before her eyes.  
  
"Wow! Free stuff! You don't get a deal better than that! I'll take all this stuff home. I can't believe my luck!" Téa said excitedly, but then her happiness disappeared as she said "But I really shouldn't leave Yugi and the others here to look for me and get themselves killed. Apparently there are some pretty violent moose's at this time of year. Oh well. Wait! I know! I'll write them a note saying I've gone home." And Téa started scribbling a note on a piece of paper.  
  
I never thought anything could be more pathetic. How would we ever be able to find a little piece of paper in a giant forest even if we were our normal selves.  
  
Yugi was the only one who had not yet given up hope that Téa might be able to hear him. It was getting quite annoying.  
  
Téa finished scribbling her note and pinned it on a tree...  
  
Ok 2nd chapter done. Hee Hee! I love Golliwogs! There so cute and misunderstood...sniff...poor Golliwogs... Make the Golliwogs feel better by reviewing! 


	3. 3 The Appliances New Home

Confused Cookie: Well, well, well... It's been a while. I'm so lazy.

Anyways, Toaster? Will you do the honours?

Yugi-Toaster: Confused Cookie does not own Yugioh, turtle eggs, Toasters, and other kitchen appliance-like things. Although she would like to own her very own Spatula!

Confused Cookie: Yeah, I must go and get a spatula... Ok. Now for another installment of... drum roll please!

The Microwave and the Spatula!

**Chapter 3: The Appliances' New Home**.

=== 1st person: Téa ===

"I'm home, finally. This fridge is heavy!" I yawned, I was so tired, so I decided to take a short nap.

_One Hour and Thirty-nine Minutes Later_

I awoke by a voice of my own hallucinations, and I started to regret eating those turtle eggs for breakfast. I heard a voice, it was calling out to me. I don't know who exactly it was but they needed my help! Since they were invented by my own slowly-going-insane mind I decided to ignore the 'person in need'.

All that ignoring-strange-voices made me really thirsty. So I decided to test out my new blender and have a fresh smoothie.

In my new fridge I found my new pomegranate. "Wow! I've never had a pomegranate smoothie before. It's always good to try new things though!" So in the blender went the pomegranate, and in seven minutes my smoothie was ready. It was a very nice smoothie.

Later in the day I started to get worried for I hadn't heard from Yugi and, the rest. I called Yugi's current place of residence and his Grandpa answered the phone. "Grandpa Mutou, have you...um... seen Yugi recently? You haven't seen him since yesterday? Oh...well thanks." That was disappointing.

It was now time for dinner. I didn't feel like constructing a meal so I just decided to heat up some leftover chicken in the microwave

After dinner, I then called it a night, and went to bed, in my dreams, I dreamt a terrible nightmare featuring a very hungry moose...

It was a nice, cloudless morning and the voices had disappeared. However as I entered the kitchen to bake toast all the voices returned, driving me insane. I continued to ignore them.

I was happily eating my breakfast of toast and a cup of hot tea, and continuing to ignore the voices-that-didn't-really-exist. To keep my mind off my insanity, I decided to make some pancakes. Into the mix went a pile of cinnamon, chopped up jellybeans, and a couple of other bits and pieces, I was feeling a bit adventurous today. Out came my trusty spatula and I found myself flipping to my hearts content.

My new pancake recipe tasted...interesting, but after finishing washing up I had nothing to distract me from my insanity.

The phone rang...

I picked it up to find it was Grandpa Mutou. "He-hello."

"What!? Yugi still hasn't shown up. Oh I see. Do you think a moose could have eaten him? No? Oh alright then. Goodbye Mr Mutou."

I sat down, still ignoring the little voices in my head. They were starting to get quite annoying, and I was starting to get a headache. On my way to the freezer to grab some ice for my aching head I tripped over my new microwave. Which for some unexplained reason was lying in the middle of the floor...

Confused Cookie: Short and sweet! groans from people

Now what's happened to the microwave? You'll have to wait and ?time=6362221091667668


End file.
